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So Christmas is come and gone, hope you got some lovely presents.
I always love it when Santa empties his heaving sacks down my chimney.
Some years he brings presents too, the dirty old bugger.
I know some of you were naughty this year, and some, like Reg were just plain evil, so got rubbish toys. But I'm far more generous, I've brought the gift of Magic Sand to each and every one.
I feel so much better now I've emptied my sack.
I wish I got tissues for Christmas.
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Hey hey there! How's things? You're looking a bit plump, have you stuffed your face over the christmas period? Of course you have, well done with that! It's what chrimble is made for.
Now I bet you thought we'd forget all about you seeing as it's the festive period. But Oh no we haven't! Well, I haven't anyways. It's a rare treat for me to bring you the first Friday FJ game, because usually Taz and Reg are fighting tooth and nail to get a game on like a couple of excited little glibbets.
Anyways, the game. Have a go on this, it's reet good and should help to pass your day before the turkey sandwiches come out again. I give to you Protokid, enjoy.
Good find Johnny X
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We’re starting to wind down for the xmas holidays here at FJ Towers. Badger, FFSally and Dr. P have already taken a shuttle back to Earth, and the rest of us will be following shortly. The wombat has decided to stay on Mars over the break, but I doubt if he’ll post any quality content for you*. I bet it’s just an excuse so he can invite his rodent mates around and have an extended Micro Machines session, or whatever it is that the kidz are playing nowadays.
While FJ is on slow mode, you may like to check out the archive to find some gems you might have missed over the year. You can also type things into the search box above; I’d like to be so bold as to suggest you try something like Friday Game.
Just before the final flight out of here, there’s one last FJ Friday Game from me to you. It’s something that you could have had ages ago, but it’s only just found a stable home. It’s the sequel to Samorost, cleverly entitled Samorost 2. That should keep you entertained!
Happy Christmas.
*Not that any of the rest of us ever do that either
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Now it can be said that those Kill the falling blocks games have been done to death. They're all somehow loosely based on Tetris and Bejeweled, either with different shaped blocks or some other weird twist, but essentially they're the same.
This next game is another one of those, but with a rather tougher gameplay. I've researched this extensively and I can reveal that there are 2 ways of playing this game.
1. The Jedi approach.
Study the rules carefully. Memorise every combination and try to pick up the maximum number of points from every click. At first you will find this difficult, but over time you will master these skills and become something of a guru.
or
2. The Taz approach.
Click randomly as fast as possible.
If you're in any way as juvenile as the average FJ editor, you'll find the name of this game exceedingly amusing. Handjibe.
Tee hee!
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Eating turkey is bad.......mkay!
So if you are one of the unfortunate or indeed slack and haven't managed to purchase yourself a turkey yet, don't worry because you can always get your fill on virtual turkey in this fantastic game where you stack them up in a roasting tin. My gift to you lovely people this year is Turkey in the pot.
Anyway, enjoy your crimbo everyone, I'm off to stuff and baste the FJ boys in ready for a good roasting on Sunday. Now...................................where did I put tin foil?
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Continuing on the Christmas theme, or at least on the take out your Christmas shopping rage theme, we've got a nice little platform game to keep you occupied while you contemplate how bad your hangover's going to be tomorrow morning.
The great thing about Super Soldier is that it's a soldier, and it's Super! That may not give you an awful lot of insight into the gameplay, but then I'm not going to hold your hand all day long.
Maybe just this morning.
Oh alright then, we can hold hands for a few more hours.
Oh, okay... maybe a bit longer.
Look, I don't even know your name! We can't form a meaningful relationship on this sort of foundation. It's not you, it's me...
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Well good morning my wonderful Funjunkie friends. You're all looking bloody marvelous today. You must be excited.
So it's Friday, it's the 23rd of December, and that can only mean one thing. If you need to go out shopping for some food for the next week, you're fucked! Sorry to put a dampener on your day, but if you're thinking of going to the supermarket to get some last minute booze and Microwave Turkey burgers, you're going to have a totally shit time.
Fortunately we're here to help. Not with the shopping of course, but we can provide you with some light entertainment, some medium weight entertainment, and an awful lot of damned heavy, seriously entertaining games for you to vent your steam on.
Of course we're going to try to keep it nice and Christmassy, which is why the first Funjunkie Friday Game of the week is good old Battleships.
What?
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It may be my birthday today, but I’m going to give you a special present. Carrying on the Funjunkie Nearly Friday Game tradition (that Taz started just a short while ago), here’s another game for you. It’s not any old game either, it’s a rather special one. It’s a sequel to Grow & Grow Cube, two of the best games in the world ever.
It’s a bit easier than the others, but since you’re probably trashed on sweet sherry by now, that’s probably not a bad thing. Enjoy.
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Wait, what's that? It's not friday? Well no, of course it's not, but we know that you know that we know that most of you lot are a bunch of lazy buggers and aren't bothering to work tomorrow. Well, naturally you wouldn't bother to work, since it'll be Friday, and Friday is Funjunkie Friday Game day, but that's not the reason. The reason, as we well know that you know that we know, is that you ain't even turning up at the door. You'll still be in bed, or down the pub, or something equally sordid.
You see there's this Chrimbo thing, right? It's on Sunday, but looooads of you are quitting work today. Perhaps it's so you've got ample time to prepare yourselves for a quality pissup, perhaps it's because you need the holiday, or perhaps it's just because you're as lazy as the average Funjunkie editor. We don't know, but we are prepared to make your last day* at work that much more enjoyable.
So let's start the afternoon by getting Santa off his face on Sherry. Start as you mean to go on, as it were.
*If it's not your last day, don't worry. We'll be here tomorrow to keep you company.
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Some people have the misfortune of being born so close to Christmas that it completely overshadows the cellebration of their own birthday. Fortunately this only ever happens to people like Reg, so you and I don't have to worry too much about giving any sympathy.
This year it's gone and happened to him again, but in an altogether more spectacular way... he's tuned the Big Three-Oh.
Reg cellebrating his coming of age, earlier.
Well done Reg, you made it this far. Your pipe and slippers would be in the post, but the Wombat ate them. Still, you can't have it all, eh?
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As you surely know, today is the winter solstice. That’s why everyone here at FJ Towers got up at the crack of dawn to see the shortest day in, and cut mistletoe from high up in the trees*. Since then, we’ve been sipping on mulled wine, listening to Nat King Cole croon away, and making funny little Christmas Muglets of each other.
Someone’s going to have to leave the comfort of the roaring open fire soon and go and get some replacement mince pies from the local Spar. Turn around, touch the ground, bagsy not me!
Cheers, Toni Toni Toni.
*Because that’s the kind of thing you do on winter solstices, OK?
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Poor old Bob. He’s the saddest reindeer this side of the Watford gap. He wishes he could fly like Santa’s magical reindeer, but it’s beyond his grasp. Maybe you could help him out and make his dreams come true. Then he’d be the happiest reindeer in the whole of the Midlands*.
*Until he lands in a wood chipper or bonfire.
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It seems like only yesterday that we told you not to play with your food. Oh, it was. Oh well - we're going to have to tell you again.
Don't play with your food! Unless the food is the evil Sprout army, intent on invading earth and destroying everything christmassy in their wake. If that's the case, then you can play as much as you like. Make sure you wash your hands first.
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Surprise!!!! We do actually have one more picture for you. A lovely festive picture of my pussy.....cat! She decided to 'help' us decorate our tree last night and I thought what else could be more festering than a cat in a xmas tree.
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The FJ Advent Calendar is now over, as we have no more pictures to put up*. In the meantime, while the editors ruminate and cogitate about who the winner of the Star Prize is, here’s a collection of xmas bits and bobs that we’ve cobbled together from various outtakes.
First there’s a slightly saucy** Christmas e-card thingy, then there’s some singing seasonal cats, and last, but by no means least, a complete album
of festive music made only with 8-bit videogame machines.
*You lazy wazzocks
**Vaguely NSFW
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How many times do we have to tell you? Its naughty to play with your food! Well, only if you’re sitting at the dinner table. If you can play about with it on the interweb without anyone getting mucky, that’s just fine and dandy.
It’s just a shame there’s no Gravy option. That would have made proceedings a bit more interesting. Still, you shouldn’t get fluids near your computer.
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Last year, Sidra kindly volunteered to be the FJ Towers Christmas Tree. For some reason, the boys were particularly eager to buy lots of presents so they could place them around her base. This year, she's decided to take a less demanding role:
And as you can see, she makes an excellent sofa warmer. We tried to get her to sit on the loo seat in the outhouse so we didn't get frozen bums when we needed number two's. Strangely she declined that offer and opted for warmth and comfort instead. Good for her!
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It's nearly time for you all to go home, so is it now too little too late? Well I'd like to say no. I probably won't, but that's what I'd like to say.
Anyway, I'm now much happier because I've found a new and improved Bike Trials game, set way up in the mountains. So it's not Friday anymore, we've renamed it as Monday, Monday, Monday!.*
*If you don't understand that, forget it.
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It's already well into the afternoon and we've only got 2 games up... well, make that 3 now.
Pitiful isn't it? And why such meagre pickings from such a professional outfit like Funjunkie? Well it's because everything out there is just shit. I'm sorry everyone, but there's not a lot of good new games out there to be had, so you'll have to settle for less.
Look, just be a pessimist, okay? The glass is half full. The lights are not on and there's definitely nobody home. Just see for yourself.
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I don't know about you, but I'm sodding well bored of Christmas already.
I haven't even done my crimbo shopping or bought my nut roast, let alone put any decorations up. No hint of a tree in my house either and I quake with fear at the oncoming shopping trip of hell.
Judging by the festive feel of the game I'm about to unleash on you all, I'm not the only one who feels like this.
Elf Zapper, shoot elves..........feel better!
Bah Humbug!
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It’s a very rare privilege for me to post the first FJ Friday Game of the day. Usually there’s a battle at the crack of dawn between Taz and Dr. P, but they must have forgotten to wind up their alarm clocks.
Don’t get too excited though, today’s first game isn’t overwhelmingly good. It might just give you several nano-seconds of enjoyment until the big boys come along and post something vaguely decent. All you have to do is make Santa dance.
I might go and knock on their doors, see if I can wake them up
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Yoda here is a sad little doggy. He would love to tell you about how much he loves Christmas, but the thing is he just can’t speak in human. If you’re one of the lucky people who can speak Pug, this is what he said: “woof woofy woof, grr woof, Christmas* grrrr, whimper”.
A big thanks goes to his friend Christine who helped him send the picture in. His paws were ‘a bit achey’, so he needed help with the computer stuff.
There are only five more days left in the FJ Advent Calendar, and the race for the Star Prize of the last ever FJ Mug is still wide open. Get your entries in over the weekend, or you’ll still be drinking out of normal mugs in 2006. In fact, don’t wait, do it now!
*There’s no dog word for that
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Here at FJ Towers we’ve been trying to secure the film rights to a Midget Western Spectacular, which we’re sure you’d find simply wonderful. It’s proving harder than originally anticipated however, and there hasn’t been any movement on the deal for ages.
In the meantime, here’s a quick bit of footage of a Monkey Cowboy. It’s not quite on a par with a whole Midget Western, but it should give you a quick mini Wild West fix.
Thanks Toby
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With no accelerating or braking, this racing game’s in a class of its own. It will test your left and right steering abilities to the MAX!!!
Make sure you know which way’s which. Your keyboard has probably got little arrows on it to help you. The left one points to the left, and the one in the opposite direct is the right one. As in Right, not correct. Well, it is correct if you want to go Right, but not if you want to go Left. That’s the opposite one. They’re the only ones you need.
You don’t need the up and down ones. If you did, down is probably in between the right and the left*. Which isn’t where it is in real life. It would be below both of the others. And the up one.
So anyway… the game.
*Depending on your keyboard**
**Keys to operate the computer, not the racing car
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The FJ Advent Calendar lives on! Thanks to forum and flickr favourite, Mass Distraction, we can rest assured that the whole project won’t come crashing around our feet. Not today anyway.
Meet DJ Jason Parker, a very festive chap. He braved the stifling heat of a santa costume (and sitting in front of an open fire) to bring festive soul cheer to the masses. That’s the kind of misplaced dedication we admire. Good work fella!
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Hi there, rollercoaster fans! You’ve been waiting for a rollercoaster based game that you can play with one hand for ages haven’t you? You say it’s because you like to eat your lunch at the same time, therefore only have one hand free to play with, but I know it’s just because you’re a ham-fisted buffoon with no coordination.
I also know that the sandwiches you eat are too big to hold in just one hand, you greedy bastard. At least two of your fingers will get some exercise playing this rollercoaster based game, I suppose that’s better than nothing.
Thanks Johnny X
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Today’s FJ Advent Calendar picture comes courtesy of George, who in no way should you get confused with the other George that we’ve already had. They’re completely different people. She can be seen here modelling a superb Christmas party hat and pirate patch from a (no doubt) quality cracker.
There are only seven more days to go in our advent calendar, but we still need some more entries. Each one sent in has a chance of winning the very last of the limited edition FJ Mugs, along with honour of being used as the fairy at the top of the FJ Towers Christmas tree. And if they’re not incentives, then I don’t know what is.
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If you're a regular to Funjunkie you'll know that it's a hot-bed of sexually charged talent. Only the other week Reg and big brother Kaiser exhibited their fine artistic tendencies to the sea-faring public.
It's not only art though, it's really all about the music here. Not only have we got forum regulars O and mittens riding high with their band New Cassettes, we've also got THE house band in Mike and the Wheelchairs. And just for you lovely lovely people we've got an Xmas tune for you to download: Christmas Crack 2005
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Santa’s a bit out of date. I mean, what with the red suit and the beard? Maybe it’s about time he had a makeover.
Get rid of the beard, and just leave a nice ‘tache, ditch the fur trim and get something a bit sharper – in cream. And finally, learn a few new moves, like the high kick perhaps? In fact, just retire the old boy and get Chris Christmas Rodriguez in to do the job instead.
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December the 13th. It may be unlucky for some, but for FJ Forumite, Peanut, it can only be the best day of his life. Why? Because he's only gone and got himself on the front page!
 Peanut getting ready for another day at the office, today.
Well done Peanut. Now you can sit back and wait for the fan mail to hit your letterbox. Watch out for the stalkers.
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If you have the attention span of a gnat, then we’ve got a treat in store for you! Here’s a whistle-stop tour through the last twenty five years of the history of video games.
If you have the attention span of a gnat, then we’ve got a treat in store for you! Here’s a whistle-stop tour through the last twenty five years of the history of video games.
If you have the attention span of a gnat, then we’ve got a treat in store for you! Here’s a whistle-stop tour through the last twenty five years of the history of video games.
If you have the attention span of a gnat, then you won’t remember reading this lots of times. Just go and play the flipping thing.
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Good morning campers. I must say I'm in a jolly good mood for a Monday morning. I'm really getting into the Christmas spirit, I've even bought and wrapped all my presents which I've never done before Christmas Eve in my life!
I can't think of a better way to fuel my Christmas energy than to post our daily advent picture. We all have one of these in our neighbourhood, the ultimate chav twat who thinks that covering your house from roof to foundation in shit Pound Stretcher flashing Santa's is somehow cool.
Thank you to Stephen Rideout for this fine example. Apparently this picture was taken yesterday morning at 11.00am somewhere near Hemel Hampstead.
Don't forget, there's still time to send em in!
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Game six in this Funjunkie Friday Game marathon comes in the form of one of those things your parents used to give you to keep you quiet on those long holiday car journeys.
A fine idea, but for that fact that said games have an irritating soundtrack of electronic beeps and clicks, thus managing to annoy the parents more than hearing the tunefull chorus of "Are we there yet?" every half a mile.
Kong Vs New York, it'll drive you nuts.
Thanks to Pete for sending us that one.
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Alexey Pajitnov is the genius behind Tetris, and therefore one of the ace-est blokes on the planet. He’s now working for Microsoft (as you do), and he’s just come up with a new game called Hexic. It’s not the Tetris beater that the world was waiting for, but then again, it’s going to take a lot of work to beat that sublime piece of engineering.
If any of you thickos ever want to challenge me at Tetris, just drop me a line, I’m ready for you. Ready and waiting, 24 hours a day. Come on, I dare you.
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Seen in the Bristol Daily paper, last week:
WANTED: New or second hand tank. Must be in working order, including turret and canon. Preferably 90mm.
Call Taz on 555 6798
Seen in the Bristol Daily paper, today:
WANTED: Shells for 90mm canon. No duds please.
Call Taz on 555 6798
Seen all over the place: House Bling.
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There are a number of things that bring on a psychotic episode in me. Traffic Lights in Bristol is one of my pet hates, along with eating noises*, inconsiderate twunts in the supermarket, and of course the big C**... by which I mean Christmas.
Now admittedly it's not a nice of me to be all Bah, humbug about it all. I don't really have a problem with the 25th of December to be honest with you, because it's a jolly good excuse to eat staggeringly large quantities of food and get blind drunk. Not a lot different to a Monday night after work, admittedly, but you get the point.
The problem is that the big C starts earlier every year. When the tinsel starts to appear in shop windows during late September, I can't help but think that the world would be a better place if I were given a large gun and told to get on with it. That's why I'm so reluctant to post today's 4th game. But it's been around for quite some time now, and I suppose we are only a couple of weeks away now.
So it's back to Russia for me, and off down the mountain for you. Incidentally the name of this game does sound rather sordid. Frosty Flips. If that doesn't give you a massive case of the HORN, I don't know what will.
*Serious issues... Really serious issues.
**...and don't get me started on X.
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Reindeers are such cute animals. It’s just a shame that they taste so good! Bwahahaha!
Today’s advent calendar picture comes from Adda, who’s more than happy to cause a bit of xmas mayhem around the house! We’re still in need of some more photographs to carry on with our advent calendar, so get off you smelly butts this weekend and send us some snaps. Otherwise we’ll send Adda round with his carving knife. Then you’ll be sorry.
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A newbie guest editor's lot is a hard one here at Funjunkie Towers. Firstly, you get to do all the horrible chores that no-one else will do, like cleaning Badger Mushroom's chest hair from the shower plug-hole and emptying all the latex gloves from Dr Poppyjuice's waste paper bin. Secondly, because you get no end of jokes along the lines of "Can you pop down the shop and get me a sky hook, please"
I am getting used to it now and letting it all wash over me. Although in the early days, I would get frustrated about not knowing what I was doing and that perhaps I wasn't up to the job. To rid myself of frustration I'd find myself turning to a good old fashioned Snowfight to help ease my woes.
Basically, you throw balls of snow at other people.
Hopefully this one makes up for the pants snow-related one I put up a while ago.
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Now we all know that there's nothing big* or clever about making fun of fat naked people running around. Everybody has the right to be naked, and everyone has the right to show off the after-effects of eating all of the available pies.
Not everyone, however, has the right to run around naked, being chased by scientists and smurfs, avoiding landmines and balloons(?). Yeah, you know what I'm talking about.
Hmm, I've just re-read this post and realised that it doesn't make sense. I'll start again from the beginning.
Hello.
*Actually they are rather big
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Yes, I know it's a ridiculous time to be posting but, hey, it is friday now officially and I'm going to need a lie in tomorrow.
The wombats got into one of Becca G's relief packages from home and stole a big bag of mushrooms.
Since then they've been acting very strange and have hidden up the chimneys in the power plant.
I've drawn the short straw so I'm going up after them with a big syringe of ketamine and some industrial tongs. It's going to be a long night.
Anyway, here's another game involving a fat drunk man up a chimney. Enjoy!
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Eager Friday Gamers are already forming a queue outside the gates of FJ Towers. They must really need their fix of hot FJ Friday Game action! Oh wait, they’re angry shoppers demanding their cash back from that infallible wombat pyramid scheme. It’s an easy mistake to make – they look pretty much the same at a glance.
If they were eager Friday Gamers as opposed to angry shoppers demanding their cash back from that infallible wombat pyramid scheme, then I’d happily let them play Arcadia. The surefire four-games-at-once manic gameplay style would almost certainly quench their gaming thirst until the FJ Gameathon starts again tomorrow. But they’re not, so I’ll keep the gates to FJ Towers firmly locked. And I might get Becca to unleash the wombats too.
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"You'll go blind." so they said, but that never stopped you sneaking a quick Tommy Tank every now and again in your bedroom all those years ago. But what if you'd been given all the facts? What if they'd told you the truth? The whole truth? Nothing but the truth?
What if they'd told you about The Fatal Consequences of Masterbation?
That made you think didn't it. Now nip off to the lav for a quickie.
Rather surprisingly folks, this IS safe for work. Who'd have thunk it?
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Google Fight – it’s the new way to solve all your punch up problems. There’s no need to get beaten to a pulp anymore, let the interweb decided the outcome of your fisticuffs for you. Look how easily I defeat fellow FJers Taz, Badger Mushroom and Dr. Poppyjuice – without getting a scratch on me (unlike in real life).
However, all of us at FJ took on your Mum and we came off worse. Still, we lived to tell the tale. Put some of your fights in the comments box, and let’s find out who the big hitters really are around here.
Thanks Xavier
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The Monkey Weihnachtsmann* comes but once a year. Apart from this year, when he’s sent his little daughter Rosa along instead. He’s taking time out of his busy schedule to reprimand the naughty elves about not making enough xbox 360’s in time for Christmas day.
Rosa can be seen here wearing her festive motorcycling outfit, while taking a preliminary read through the book that lists the good deeds of children over the year. Her small monkey assistant is ready to strike off any wrong doers with his highlighter pen of truth. Which includes YOU, unless you send us in an advent calendar picture!
*Monkey Christmas Man
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Badger Mushroom and his cronies are up for an award! They’ve been nominated for a BBC Weekender gong for their Stern Radio club night. Also in the running are forum regulars, the New Casettes. If you fancy giving them your vote, cast away here.
If they win, there’s bound to be a massive party at their expense, so get voting!
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It was just a normal day in the office when this strange picture arrived in my inbox. The e-mail address wasn't one that I was familiar with, George someone.....
As I opened the attachment my eyes were fixated with his, I couldn't help but feel I'd met his acquaintance before.
If anyone recognises this man please let me know who he is. I think I love him. I've tried to e-mail him back to tell him this but every time I try I get the same reply.
MOVED TO BRAZIL
We still need those entries in folks so pull yer fingers out!
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It’s not often that we give you advance warnings for telly programmes, but there’s something on tonight that you definitely have to set the Betamax for. David Shrigley’s new film, Who I am and what I want will be shown tonight during Channel 4’s Animate TV programme at 12.10am.
Please don’t stay up to watch it. You might accidentally catch St Nicholas coming down the chimney* to deliver some satsumas and a matchbox car for your stocking. And you wouldn’t want that, would you?
*He should have actually come round last night, but he must have got caught up on the M25 or something. My stocking was completely empty this morning. Unlike Sillyboy’s (see today's advent calendar picture)
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Today’s (marginally disturbing) FJ Advent Calendar picture comes from forum regular, Sillyboy. He kindly took time out of his busy Binky & Waffle drawing schedule to take this photo with his chum Brian, who’s (alledgedly) from 'Noo Joysey'.
Part of Funjunkie’s mission statement for 2005 was to appeal more to cross-dressing Christina Aguilera fans. I think we’ve succeeded beyond our wildest expectations.
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The Christmas season is starting to hot up. No doubt you’ll soon have to start attending functions you’d rather not be at, whether it’s your nephew’s nativity play or your work’s party. Well fear not, a new solution is at hand that could transform your life. Taking the next logical step on from the classic beer hat, it’s the Beer Belly!
This stealth beverage system could be also be the ideal gift for members of your family. You could substitute beer for milk for the under 5’s, or upgrade the contents to gin for your Grandma. In fact, if everyone in your family had one of Christmas day, watching the Queen’s speech this year may even turn out to be vaguely interesting for once.
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Sorry to break the news to you, but it's Monday. Thankfully our new guest Editor Becca G is on hand to brighten up your day with her ever-so-snuggly advent calendar picture.
Under the trades description act, I must just point out that she's giving a false impression of herself here. Last friday night she was arm wrestling the wombat in the local biker bar, a much truer reflection of what she is really like.
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I'm sorry about the tardiness of my game today, I had to give one of the wombats an enema. He'd been chewing on a pair of F*ck Fluff Sally's stockings and got a bit backed up....poor sod!
Seeing that it is the season of goodwill and all that, this game is just perfect.
Poor Turkster is lacking in the feather department, which must be a bit of a bummer with the inclement weather we've been having lately. Do your bit for turkey-kind this crimbo and help him collect feathers and grab corn...but watch out for the forks!!!
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You're looking a little bit flustered after playing that last Funjunkie Friday Game... perhaps it's time you chilled out for a bit.
Sit down and listen to some soothing music. Perhaps some slowly moving, easy on the eyes pictures, scrolling down your screen. Bubbles too... bubbles are so soothing. And now, just gently wander around with your little bubble, collecting other little bubbles... there you go. Now you'll be feeling more relaxed.
OH No! NOT the purple bubbles, NO!!!
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At last! Installment 2 of this week's Funjunkie Friday Game bonanza, and it's a murderously difficult one. If the frustration of failure doesn't get the better of you, the ZX Spectrum style music definitely will.
Sounds terrible doesn't it? But I guarrantee you'll be playing this over and over until your brain explodes, or something like that. Don't say I didn't warn you.
Hot Air, it's something we're full of here at FJ Towers.
Thanks to Pete from pixelHugger for that one.
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I know we're being a bit crap with the Funjunkie Friday Games today, but rest assured that we will pull out some more corkers soon enough.
In the meantime, why not grab yourself a cup of tea and a biscuit, sit back, relax, and watch this rather interesting little documentary about Monks.
Sorry, did I say documentary? I meant to say class animated action movie full of blood, guts and pure comedy genius. It's a common error.
WARNING: If you're at work, you might want to turn the volume down, because the soundtrack is a little NSFW.
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Tis the season to be jolly fa la la la, la la la la.......
Well, it certainly IS the season to be Jolly! Not only is it the 2nd December, not only is it 23 days till Christmas, it's Friday!!
To celebrate this very special day we have a very special advent picture from forum regular Toby.
I don't know about you but this pic gives me the Christmas cream horn! Thank you Toby for making my day.
Now I have to say, the entries aren't flooding in as we had hoped they would be and we really need your help. So get out your Christmas box, dress up like a twat and send evidence of the results in to us. The best entry will get a special mention, and if you're lucky Reg might show you his special place.
Please don't let that put you off
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"Saturday* night's alright for fighting" sang bizarre pop dwarf Elton John.
We at Funjunkie Towers suspect that he's referring to crying over whether it's David's turn to take the Shitzu out for a crap.
But in the modern world of the interweb, do you really have to go out in the cold, spend hard earned cash on ethanol, and hover around the dark streets of Northampton to experience the thrill of the Pubfight?
Of course you don't
*I know it's Friday, but Friday's the new Saturday, don't you know.
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Hello, just a quick public announcement. Due to its sudden closure, the exhibition that my brother and I were about to have at the Roadmender in Northampton has got a new venue. It’s now going ahead at Gallery 58 in Northampton instead. If you’re lucky enough to live in the region of the country that receives Anglia Television, you might be able to catch a repeat of my brother making a berk of himself talking about the exhibition on the repeat news at 6.30 or 10.
The private view is this Saturday, 3rd December from 6.30 – 8.30pm. It continues until 23rd December.
Thank you for your patience, normal service will now resume.
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Well what do you know? It’s finally December and the start of the advent calendar season. Our brave volunteer to start the proceedings is Uncle Owen, who won the bronze medal in this years’ FJ Idol competition*.
We still need volunteers to submit photos for later on in the month, so if you have a camera, get your arse in gear! As clearly demonstrated by this amazing piece of photography, you don’t have to have a santa suit to enter. Remember, there’s also a Star Prize for our favourite picture.
*Therefore effectively winning nothing
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LOTR bloopers?
Enthusiasts of Movie-Mistakes.com have noticed many "bloopers" in Lord of the Rings. They report that in one scene there is a car driving across the horizon; in another, the hobbits are wearing shoes; in another, where one of the black riders is chasing the hobbits onto the ferry, he is clearly wearing a Sony Walkman.
Unreliable Facts from The Brains Trust |
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"The French are not normally a Nordic skiing nation."
- Ron Pickering |
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DeathGob
