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Oooh, spooky - it's halloween and I've dredged through the ghouls, zombies and ghosties to bring you The Pulpifier.
It's gruesome, gory and good fun, so have fun blowing up the zombies, girls and boys.
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The weather being what it is at the moment I was a little startled to see Dr.Poppyjuice and PixelHugger walking into Funjunkie Towers laughing, dripping wet, and naked as the day they were born.
After the panic attack had subsided I asked them what they'd been up to......
"Naturism, SB me old fruit." Said Dr.P, "It's the new black, innit."
Turns out they'd been Nudist Trampolining out in the back garden. God knows what the Nuns in the Convent next door thought, but I'll be having Freudian nightmares for weeks.
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There must be a disturbance in the force if there's a game on a Wednesday. Well, yes there is. FJ Towers have been under attack by irregular shaped polgons for the last 57 hours now, and quite frankly, I need a break from shooting them down. There's only so much one person can take before they need a tea break, and I've just about reached my limit.
So it's your turn to take over. Climb aboard the ship and start blasting. I'll send a relief pilot along in a couple of days. I've got a hot appointment with a plate of biscuits to attend to.
Post you scores in the comments box - you should know the drill by now
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If Friday isn't a good day to battle Mr Meaty then I don't know when is.
Then again Dr.Poppyjuice always manages to battle with his meat every day, so I could be wrong. As I discovered when I found my Ann Summers catalogue all stuck together yesterday and the day before Reg complained that his aeroplane trading cards were slimy.
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They say the best things in life are simple, like a hug from a loved one, a smile from a pretty girl, a beautiful sunset or having sex with an innocent goat*.
In the spirit of the simple things I bring you a simple flash shooter.
Post your scores and enjoy.
By the way, that goat thing may be illegal in some countries. Stay safe.
*At least that what Reg insists.
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Seeing as no-one else has posted anything today I think I'd better give you one extra game to help you while away the next 55 minutes.
I do apologise for the lack of editors today, but last week I locked them all in the outside privvy because they were making too much noise while I was watching Rogue Traders and now I've lost the key.
While I go and look for F*ck Fluff Sally's tool box, have a look at Snake Classic.
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Well, yet another friday has come upon us and soon the world will be deafened by the sound of tools being dropped at 5pm.
Alas, there is still a few hours to go, so to ease the pain I shall pretend I care about you and let you play this game. It was too much for Reg and I sent him off to make me a coffee and butter me a scone.
I can still hear him sobbing.
Anyways, back to the point, get your fingers flexed and have a go at Big Flat Bouncy Man*.
*Many thanks to the person who sent this game to us.
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If you're into weird, strange cartoons then I've got a right treat for you.
Salad Fingers by David Firth
Many thanks to wetfrog, who works for me, for pointing this little beauty out.
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OK, so it’s not so much a game as a puzzle, or possibly a test, but you’re here to try and expand your brain, right? Right?
Damn it, I’m on the wrong website again. I hate it when that happens.
Since I’m here, I suppose I may as well dish out the goods, so here you go. Use that brain of yours* to work out the film titles. It’s all rather nicely done.
*You DID remember to put it in this morning, didn’t you?
Cheers Xavier
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How big is your slug?
How big, how big,
how big is your slug,
I really neeeeeed to le-arn,
'cause we're living in a world of fools,
breaking us down, and so on
You're going to be humming the BeeGees all day now - I can almost guarantee it.
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Pipe down at the back there......bunch of savages I tell you.....
......Yes, I know it's not friday yet, but I couldn't wait to post this. Also I'm not at work tomorrow, and even though I could feasibly post stuff from home, it'd feel like a betrayal of all that we hold dear here at FJ towers.
Anyway found this little gem of a game over at Miniclip - fight the other savages in a variety of tasks to become the new Chief of the island and take the hand of the beautiful* princess in marriage.
So put on your mask, set fire to your hair, pick up your spear and become a Savage.
*more 'interesting' looking really
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There’s an Illegal Bike Rave in Northampton, England this weekend, and various member of Team Funjunkie will be in attendance.
Although FJ has nothing to do with the organization of Bike Hell*, we’d like to extend an invitation to you, our lovely readers. All you need is a bike. A helmet and a camera may also be handy. And possibly some booze.
The meeting point is The End pub** at 3pm this Saturday, and then it’s on to a secret location for general bike mayhem. There’ll be wheelie competitions, big skid competitons (bring some spare pants), drag racing, demolition derbies, and that kind of thing. There might even be a bit of a conker competition to “broaden the appeal” a bit.
Obviously it’s all weather permitting. If it’s chucking it down we’ll be attending the Illegal Knitting & Cross-Stitch Rave at the old folk’s home round the corner instead.
*No Mr Policeman, the paper trail ends here
**They’ve got nothing to do with it either, they’re not even expecting us. It’s just they have a bicycle friendly pub garden.
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Crouching Tiger, Hidden Uses
Compact discs are used to make cheap Ninja throwing stars in the Far East. Modern day Ninja warriors apparently prefer using Hear'say's debut album because of its superior aerodynamic properties.
Unreliable Facts from The Brains Trust |
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Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks.
They charged one and let the other one off.
- Tommy Cooper |
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DeathGob
