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Look at the size of my chopper.
Now admire the glory of my helicopter you dirty prevert. Why don't you take it for a spin around Earth, it's useless here on Mars cause the atmosphere's too thin*, and the wombat keeps making nests in the air intake.
The controls are a bit of a bugger but once you get the hang it's wizard.
Now once again, look at the size of my chopper**.
*Not the party atmosphere obviously.
**It's tiny.
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Do you hate string? I do. In fact I think I’ve got a severe case of Linonophobia coming on. It’s the wiggliness that gets me – I start getting Bluepeter flashbacks, and scrabbling madly around for my plastic scissors and sticky backed plastic.
Of course Taz and the other editors keep hiding bits of st…I’m sorry I can’t say it….in various places – I found some in my packed lunch yesterday. I had to throw away my Bob the Builder lunchbox after that.
Anyway here’s a game called String Avoider You’re meant to help the string avoid the scissors, but I keep getting my revenge and killing it. Ha! That’ll teach it.
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Here’s a good example to the rest of you. 10 Ninjas only joined the forums a couple of days ago, and he’s already sending in games! That’s the attitude we like, since it means less work for us. Not that we do much actual work… since we’re playing all these flipping games.
Shoot clowns. In the face. With guns.
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5 games already? What could possibly be going wrong here at Funjunkie Towers? Have we all suddenly acquired an infinite amount of energy? Has our in-built apathy been sucked out of our heads, to be replaced with the horrors of, dare I say it, Enthusiasm?
Probably not. Perhaps it's because we're avoiding doing any work for a few hours, as is Funjunkie's finest freelance game spotter, Pete, who's sent us a link to Polar Jump. A game about a... well aparently it's a squirrel, skipping from iceberg to iceberg in a vain attempt to get... somewhere.
Getting nowhere is the reality though in this game. Is it impossible? According to my pitiful score it is.
Let's see if you can get any further than... um, nothing.
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In your thirst for knowledge, be sure not to drown in all the information. ~Anthony J. D'Angelo
There speaks a man who has been to plenty of pub quizzes.
Of course you don’t do quizzes to take part or learn or even win. No, you do it so you can gloat over the fact that you’re more knowledgeable about Madonna’s hits 1985-95 than your ale sodden friends.
So quench your thirst for knowledge on the Trivia Machine*
*I’ll have half your beer when you win the next pub quiz
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Something has shaken me to the very core this morning. I appear to have a stalker.
Admittedly the role of Funjunkie Editor brings this sort of hindrance to most of us. In fact one of our newest editors, SillyBoy, was chased down the street this morning by a huge group of screaming women, the majority of whom were wearing little more than nightshirts. Sounds pretty good put like that, but the pitchforks they were wielding were a good incentive to keep moving.
My stalker sent me an email this morning about our next Funjunkie Friday Game, which is ingeneously titled Hammer Throw, although I can't think for the life of me why.
So thanks to "Your friend katie"... er, who are you? Why do you keep following me around with that video camera?
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There's nothing I like more on a Friday morning than hearing about moles on drugs.
I'll let that settle for a moment.
Okay, that's enough. Yes, moles on drugs. What other reason could a mole have for getting the munchies? What concerns me though, is that this particular mole's favourite snacks appear to be various types of turd.
Disturbing? Our survey says Hell Yes!
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If I mention Pie you might think of the number 3.14159265.....but that would mean you're maybe a little nerdy.
As any sane person will know, Pie = Lumps of meat wrapped in pastry – Well rejoice, cos I've just discovered you can get them through the post, and these are the genuine Melton Mowbray article!
So confuse you workmates today by having large meat parcels delivered to your desk Pork Pies in the Post Your tummy will thank you*
*You may not think this is a game, but I like to think of it as Russian Roulette for my waist
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Oh dear. It would appear that Friday is upon us again, and that means it's the worst time of the week for all of us. Not only are we forced to spend the whole day slacking off and playing Funjunkie Friday Games, it also means that by the end of the day it will officially be the weekend... a whole 2 more days of slacking off! What could be more tiresome?
I was going to suggest a few calculus excercises today, but my advisers have explained to me that if you can't beat 'em, you'd better damn well get your arse down to the local pub and join them in a few pints and a good old fashioned knees up. Failing that, forget the knees and just head for the bar. It's worth mentioning at this point that it might have been a good idea to put trousers on before leaving the house... just a thought.
All of which leads me nicely into today's first Funjunkie Friday Game, which is called Funky Truck Arizona. The truck may be more of a van with large wheels, and Arizona seems decidedly 2 dimensional*, but is it funky?
I like it.
*Probably fairly realistic.
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Phew, after all that booze I'm a little peckish, I'm going out for food.
I need to go out anyway as the other editors keep flushing my head down the toilet as an initiation rite. I wouldn't have minded so much, but the wombat had just been.....
Aha, here's a Sushi Bar lets eat sushi and drink beer. Sweet.
some of you may think that all I do is get drunk, you couldn't be closer to the truth
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Thank God they let me out of that filing cabinet, I've had to subsist on the Wombat's left over pork-scatchings and a bottle of Absinthe that I found tucked in Reg's dossier (funny that!)
Anyway to celebrate my release I'm going to go get stinking drunk, and I think you should all join me in Las Vegas for the 3rd Annual Modern Drunkard Convention as they say.....Say It Loud, Say It Plowed.
Apparently Van Gogh used to drink Turpentine when he ran out of Absinthe, doesn't surprise me, it probably tasted nicer. Think I'll try it out on BeccaG, she likes a tipple.
Anyway, have one on me. SB.
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Now I know this is probably a really stupid idea, giving you the best game of the week on Little Friday rather than waiting until Big Friday, but when has common sense ever prevailed over anything at FJ Towers?
I bet you’ll still be playing it tomorrow anyway*, since it’s ridiculously difficult. It’s the follow up to Hapland, and the imaginitively entitled Hapland 2… it’s (drum roll please) HAPLAND 3!
Stick any hints and tips you get in the comments box, we’re going to need them. But don’t spoil all the fun, please.
*If you still actually ARE playing it tomorrow, promise to play the other games as well, or they might feel left out, OK?
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It's Bigger!
It's Better!
It's Faster!
It's Stronger!
It's the all new and improved Funjunkie Editorial Team. That's right kids. We've brought 2 poor little lonely people in from the cold, people who would otherwise have to go out and find something far more worthwhile to do, and given them jobs here at Funjunkie Towers. So far, between the two of them they've managed to break the fridge, upset the wombat by tidying away his favourite dead rat, and block the downstairs toilet.
Still it's not all bad.
Anyway, I'll leave it to EggMayo and SillyBoy to introduce themselves. I expect they'll work out how to do it before the end of next month... possibly.
Welcome to Funjunkie.
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Sometimes it’s quite difficult to describe what a game is about. Take this game for example. You’re a person who’s kind of made out of boxes. You fight other ‘box people’ so you can use their battered box remains to climb out of the fighting pit.
What?
Exactly. Just download* it and have a go. It will become immediately apparent what I’m chatting on about. I hope.
*Yeah, it’s an install jobby, sorry
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Sorry for the lack of posts, it’s just that we’ve been having a bit of a move around here at FJ Towers. You probably haven’t noticed, as your eyesight is worse than a drunken wombat, but we’ve promoted BeccaG to Permanent Editor status. She is outrageously happy now because she gets the padlock code to the biscuit barrel and permission to stop sleeping in the outhouse.
If you look on the left* you’ll see there’s no “Guest Editor” under her picture. You probably didn’t notice the new bit underneath the pictures of the Editors either; yep, we’re looking for a new tea boy/girl to trial out. Suprisingly, we’ve already had one whole response, and it wasn’t terrible either. But that doesn’t mean you can’t give us your best pitch of why you should come to Mars and do all our washing for us. I’m sure that’s your ambition in life. Presuming you have one. Life that is, not ambition.
*Which is that side <<<
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Here's something that even you should find a fairly simple concept. This game couldn't be easier... truly!
Don't shoot the puppy.
See if you can beat my score of 9 minutes, 10 seconds.
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Well, would you look at that, I've coincided the "perfect lunchtime game" with lunchtime! What are the chances of that?*
Before you play it, let me just qualify why this is the "perfect lunchtime game".
1 You can play it with one hand, freeing up the other to hold you sandwich / pie / doughnut / lager.
2 It only takes 90 seconds to play.
3 You'll want to play it again.
4 It's bonkers and Japanese.
5 I just said so, OK?
Post your high scores in the comments box. Or else.
*25,009 to 1
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Time for lunch is it? Raining outside is it? Got to eat sitting at your desk have you?
So what have you got then? Looks like a sandwich. What's in it? Oh nice, cheese and pickle. I wish I had a nice packed lunch to eat like you do, you have all the exciting tasty stuff, and I just have to make do with this boring old whole lobster washed down with a couple of glasses of Champagne. It's a hard life being a Funjunkie editor, I can tell you.
Fortunately my workload has been reduced slightly today because of Funjunkie's very own Game Talent Spotter: Pete, who's been out all week scouring the internet for some games worth playing. Essentially he failed, but he did give us the consolation prize of this Chick Flick, which we're going to give to Becca and F*ck Fluff Sally to keep them entertained while us lads all go to our weekly baby booties knitting class.
Cheers Pete.
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Ok, so I cocked up a wee bit and repeated a game. It's friday...give me a break.
To make up for my appalling misdemeanor, I bring you a blast 'em up based on a rather popular game.
Unreal Flash. Predicably, I am shite at it.
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Occasionally I set myself a Funjunkie Friday Game challenge* to find games that satisfies both male and female FJ'ers and the half man**,half hobbit that is Badger Mushroom, and this game, I am pleased to say, really fits the bill, firstly it's got cute, cuddly bears and secondly it's got war and weapons....fantastic.
I bring you, ladies and gentlemen, Warbears. Don't die, or accidentally kill hostages is my advice to you.
*Other times I just put on any old shit I can find.
**Pppffftttt!
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Game 2 already? But it's still morning, and everyone's only just started playing Game 1*. How can you all possibly cope?
Well you're just going to have to try. Learn to multitask. If you've got somebody sitting near you in the office, knock them out and grab their computer. Set up the monitors side by side and play 2 games at once. It's a challenge that I'm sure the smarter ones among you will be taking up very soon.
So game 2. What's it all about? Is it any good? What are the keys? Does it have long lasting playability? Are there any more questions I can ask about it? Do you want some answers? Yes?
Well tough! Go and find out for yourself.
*Everyone being you, because you're the only one who's managed to get out of bed so far this morning. Well done. Give yourself a pat on the back.
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You may or may not have noticed that today is F-F-F-Fucking F-F-F-Friday! That's right kids, now you can safely hang up your working wears, put on your gaming gloves and slurf for the rest of the day, all thanks to the power of Friday and the tireless work by the Funjunkie Editors.
It's officially time for the first Funjunkie Friday Game of the week, so it's officially time to stop doing all that work nonsense that your boss keeps harping on about. If anyone asks, just tell them that Funjunkie told you it was okay* and spout some crap about the EU working time directive or something.
And** what a start we've got for you today. An absolute blinder of a game which, although you'll probably complete within a few attempts, you'll probably want to keep going back to play again and again. Ladies and Gentlemen***, I give you Fancy Pants.
*Unfortunately we cannot guarantee that you won't get fired. Sorry.
**Funjunkie does not condone the use of the word "and" at the start of a sentence. Grammar is important kids so do as we say, don't do as we do.
***etc.
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Funjunkie has never really been much of an authority on sports news, but every now and again we like to give you a taste of how it feels to be British living abroad.*
It's important for us to support our Winter Olympics team for instance, or follow the adventures and misadventures of the England cricket team. We try to keep up to date on the whereabouts of the UK Kabadi champions, the state of West Country Bog Snorkeling, and we even religiously watch the Extreme Ironing world cup.
Sometimes it's good, often it's bad, but we're always there, supporting our national teams and favourite regional teams in all manner of sporting events.
That's why we've decided to become a little more involved here on Funjunkie. We want to bring you some of our thoughts on sporting moments throughout the year, so we've recruited our very own Sports expert to write some in depth reviews.
Today we start with last night's FA Cup tie between Chelsea and Newcastle United. See below for the post match reaction.
*And you really can't get more abroad than here on Mars.
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Although today is Badger Mushroom's birthday, he’s buggered off on holiday for a week. Which means he probably won’t read this for a while, so we can slag him off all we like for a bit*.
You smell of old man’s wee, your hair looks like a mop, you’re an alcoholic, and you haven’t put money in the biscuit fund for 89 days now. Oh, and you left your toenail clippings in the TV remote again.
Still, all the best for your 29th year, here’s a world building thingy for you to play with.
*Just remind me in six days time to edit this post so it says lots of nice things about him, OK?
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I was going to write a long intro about how it’s the start of spring and how the planets are now aligned, which links nicely into this planet aligning game… but I couldn’t be arsed. And it might put you off it, which would be an awful shame, because it’s a smashing game - quite literally!
As ever, post you high scores (with game mode) in the comments box.
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Peeeoooooooow! Dukka-dukka! Nooooooooooooooooooooo! Aaaaaaaaaaargh! GET IN! Yesssssssssss!
What's the link between all the above noises? They all came out of my mouth in the past 10 minutes. "Why?", you ask.
Bombwars is why, it's egging BRILL.
If you go to the multiplayer menu, you can play me online. I be Badger, see you there!
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We had some sun this week down here in the deepest depths of Devon and I felt in need of a sunny summery game.
Your lucky believe me, I could of given you Fish Tycoon.
Aussie Surf Classic, you surf........on water.
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We've had another suggestion from Funjunkie's very own Game talent spotter, Pete. In his words:
Simply because there just aren't enough giraffe-based games on
t'internet. ...And this goes some way to redressing that balance.
Quite so. And nothing could redress the balance more than a game in which the aim is to get said giraffe shot in the arse by a ranger... at least that's how we're playing it here.
Run Horace, Run! Postively several seconds of amusement value.
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Don't you just love it when you don't have to work for your money? Here I am, supposedly spending hours scouring the interweb for Funjunkie Friday Games to keep everyone happy, when some absolute corkers just land in my lap!
Hey, this is just too easy. I could sit here all day doing nothing, and just wait for nice people like Pete to send in some suggestions, and still get paid for it!
Oh wait, there's a flaw in my plan here. Perhaps it would help if I did actually get paid for this. Damn! Why does something always come along and ruin it for me?
Still, you can spend the next few hours playing a rather splendid little side scroller called Twin Power. At least somebody will be happy.
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There's not much I find more confusing than having some Flash Game tell me that:
"Commandobot Fukked You"
Now I may not be the most sensitive bloke in the world, but I think I may have noticed if I'd recently been shagged by a large robotic entity that fires laser beams at regular intervals. It's not the sort of thing that's likely to slip my mind.
Perhaps the irregular spelling is the key. Maybe the word "Fukked" actually means: Shot the living crap out of your X-Wing with a couple of million joules of Laser Beam power. Now that would make more sense.
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Here at Funjunkie Towers, we're no strangers to instruction manuals written in foreign languages. In fact just last week Badger Mushroom received a brand new DVD player in the post, only to find the instructions written in ancient Egyptian Heiroglyphs. So far he's managed to plug it in, switch it on, and somehow blow up a small island off the West Coast of Scotland.
Come to think of it, the DVD player does look a bit suspicious. The various yellow warning labels depicting all manner of limb amputating dangers are a bit of a giveaway, coupled with the fact that it fills the entire east wing of Funjunkie Towers, and requires more power than New York, just to get a red LED to light up.
So what does this have to do with the first Funjunkie Friday Game of the week? Not a lot.
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Fish and chips anyone? OK, it’s just plankton and chips at the moment, but the more you eat, the bigger you’ll get. And no, it’s not just one of those eat littler fish to get bigger games. Well, it is, but much nicer. For one, it’s got fancy graphics, and two, you can go up and down as well (red down, blue up) so you can take on increasingly nasty baddies at your own pace.
Just play it will you, and stop asking stupid questions. It’s very simple, but jolly nice. Hopefully it will tide you through until the FJ Friday Games Marathon tomorrow.
The link does work, you may have to try it more than once if it's busy
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Swingers.
Shouting this out at any polite party and throwing the keys to your Lada into the fruit bowl, is a near perfect way to wreck a beautiful evening.
People will find an excuse to quickly leave and soon it'll be just you, sobbing in the corner with only a body temperature Blue WKD to keep you company.
Unless you've gone to a party at casa Reg, in which case it's togs off everyone and into the hot tub*.
It's a surefire sign if he's shaved his tasche into a 70s handlebar and dressed as a builder, but that's another story.
Anyway, where was I? Oh yeah. This game has got nothing to do with running through the terraced streets of Northampton, being persued by an escapee from the Village People wearing only a toolbelt. It's about swinging as far as you can off a rope.
Not as exciting as a Swingers party admittedly, but hey, it's only Tuesday. Pop round mine at the weekend and we'll see what we can rustle up.
Post your scores.
*Pokemon paddling pool
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Wow, I really have to clean my glasses. The first thing that sprang to mind when I loaded up Diary Defender was where are the cows?
Well, there are no cows, because it’s not Dairy Defender. Although I bet that would be a pretty good game too. You’d probably be put in the role of a down-on-his-luck cowboy, defending cows from invading aliens. Or something.
It’s all going a bit Brokeback again. But with sheep. Have we got any Welsh in the audience this evening? No? Excellent. I might not get kicked in so hard then.
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Monday the 13th. It may not be as widely dreaded as one of those pesky Friday the 13th days, but it's still pretty unlucky for some.
Unlucky that is, for some like everybody's favourite Funjunkie editor, Reg, who just this morning was taken to hospital with a suspected broken leg. There he was, innocently minding his own business, setting up his camera equipment for the annual internation train spotting festival at Birmingham New Street, when all of a sudden he got attacked by a rampant gibbon. Off-balance and fearing for his own safety, Reg reached out and grabbed for the nearest available item that would arrest his plunge towards the tracks. Reg was fortunate enough to swing himself away from an oncoming Intercity 125, but his favourite camera tripod was less well off.
The train's wheels crushed one leg of the tripod, temporarily limiting it to a bipedal status and subsequent trip to the photography hospital. The train was unharmed.
All of this has absolutely nothing to do with our first link of the day, which should give you some entertainment for a good couple of minutes. 3D Pong, it does exactly what it says on the tin.
Thanks to Kevin for telling us about that one... er, ages ago.
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In true Reg style he's AWOL again, but he did leave a goodie behind that must be bestowed upon you all. Don't worry, it's nothing unsavoury.
Lego Creations, a brief reminder that Lego is still the coolest toy.......ever!
The one that most struck a cord with young Reg was Han Solo trapped in carbonite, which I also think is pretty cool.
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Who would have thought that you'd have the pick of five Funjunkie Friday Games to choose from before lunch time? Not me, I can assure you, and I'm the one who's been posting them. This of course gives me a perfect opportunity to berate my fellow Funjunkie editors, who appear to be otherwise engaged. They're probably spending their precious time living real lives, which means I probably ought to go out and get one for myself.
Not right now though. Now it is my duty to make sure that you master such arts as patting your head while rubbing your stomach.
Expert at that are you?
Yeah?
Well just you try Robo Claw. It'll fuck with your head. Seriously!
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Here at Funjunkie Towers we're no strangers to the bizarre, the weird, and the (sometimes) wonderful. We've had our share of oddball games during the last few years of Funjunkie Friday Games. Some have been worthwhile, some have been a bit of a laugh, some have been entirely pointless, and some, like this next one, are so odd that we're not entirely sure whether they're good, bad, or just plain stupid.
So what we'd like to know is this: Is there a point to Project Arse, and if so, what is it? Come to think of it, does this really count as a Funjunkie Friday Game? I'm not entirely sure whether the aim of the game is to get as hammered as possible, or to steer clear of the booze. Is this a lesson about how to get yourself trashed on a Saturday night, or a moralist's tale about the benefits of staying off the loopy juice?
Who knows? Still, it'll kill a few femtoseconds of your day, so that must be something worth thinking about.
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So here I am, apologising for being a bit slow of late... it's not my fault of course, it was the dog. The dog ate my homework a few weeks ago, and the cat ate the dog, and the cat got lost up the chimney, and all manner of bizarre events have coincided to give me a really really great excuse for not posting much over the past few weeks.
And that's why we're getting loads of games up today, because during the last month or so we've had a stack of suggestions for Funjunkie Friday Games. Most of which have come from Funjunkie's very own freelance web hound, Pete.
Pete's a decent sort of bloke. He may be a bit odd, what with owning the world's largest left handed screwdriver collection, but he does have a unique talent. He has an incredidible ability to seek out a decent game using only his nose and a stick with a cabbage tied to the end. Nobody has ever asked him what the stick is about, and nobody really wants to know. We're just happy he told us about Sandman, which is a cross between Lemmings and a building site. Don't ask, just play.
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Golf.
Nobody likes golf. It's a shit game full of BMW drivers wearing silly trousers and talking about their share portfolios. Who wants to spend the whole day driving around a few fields in an electric buggy, hitting small round projectiles a few thousand metres into a tiny little hole? What's the point?
Well there is the electric buggy... that would probably be a laugh, but other than that it's just a "sport" for lazy people.
It needs spicing up. It needs more interest. It needs:
Moles
Yeah, you're not going blind. I said Moles! Fortunately we have friends in high places who can sort this all out for you. Friends like Pete, who found Mole in One for us... well, last week really, so sorry for the blatant tardiness of the FJ editors. We're a bit like British Rail really, except that we're not getting anywhere. Actually we're a lot like British Rail.
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What could be more fun than riding a moped around a beautiful city all day, waving at friendly fellow drivers, and delivering pizzas to all those lovely customers who, if given a nice smile, will tip you generously and offer you various perks like a free car or a ride in their private jet?
Well frankly, nothing. Unfortunately the reality is a stinky, smog filled metropolis, oozing with rage filled white van men who'd love nothing more than to squash you against the nearest juggernaut until your brains spill out over the tarmac. Your "lovely" customers are more likely to to be a bunch of scallies who rang the shop from a payphone and ordered 20 garlic breads to be delivered to an empty derelict mansion in the middle of nowhere, with a view to lobbing eggs at you when you get to the gates, and the only tip you're going to get is to get the hell out of the catering business.
Still, the game is a bit of a laugh.
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Here's one for you.
What's more infuriating than one of those Guide the cursor round the maze without touching anything games?
That's right. Absolutely fuck all!
So good luck to you if you want to play this game and still wake up tomorrow morning with a full set of braincells. Here at FJ towers more than 30 of our trianed game playing monkeys have chosen to top themselves after just a few tries.
Missile Maze, it'll annoy you, mark my words.
Thanks to Frank for sending us this one... er, over 2 months ago. Sorry.
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We all love a good birthday here at FJ Towers, and today we're all very excited. No, it's not the wombats birthday. Even bigger than that, the man they call Taz is 30 today!!!
Obviously we'll be having the usual cake, jelly and ice-cream, but for now let's all wish our favourite editor* and newest daddy a smashing day
*Apart from all the others, obviously
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Oh dear, I can see I've got you all confused. I wasn't trying to flirt with you really...
Well, maybe just a bit.
Oh well, maybe more than just a bit then.
Oh alright! I'm giving you the eye and showing you a bit of leg because I find you absolutely ravishing, but that's not what I meant by SWALKs.
You see it's the 8th of March today, and in my calendar that means one thing and one thing only. It means it's about time I invented a new walk... A daft walk... A silly walk... Look, is this sinking in yet?
Good grief! Are you a simpleton? Were you bottom of the class in the pasta shapes collage making at playschool? Does your IQ score come in lower than the Aspidistra sitting on your desk? Have you never heard of The Ministry of Silly Walks?
Oh dear, I went off track a bit there. That's no way to flirt now is it? Are you still there? Hello? Hello?
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Bored, are we? Have a need for a bit of blood and gore, do you? Want to smite the possessed with a bit of divine firepower?
Go on then...it is friday after all. I bring you *Divine Intervention.....
Oh, and one more thing, this is potentially NSFW.
*I didn't get much of a chance to play this because I found that my 3 year old boy was watching, but it looks very cool. In the brief amount of time I did play, I had my head ripped off by a possessed child. So it can't be that bad.
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Here at FJ Towers, we do like a bit of ball touching. No, we haven’t started being a bit too friendly to each other. I’m not talking about “nut sack” or “goolies” type balls, I’m talking about this kind of ball.
I’m glad we’ve got that straightened out. Even though Badger has been rather upset since the man on man mud wrestling got cancelled at the start of the week. Hopefully we’ll be getting the new edition of Gardener’s World delivered soon. That should calm him down for a bit.
Post your scores in the comments box.
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Today’s first Funjunkie Friday Game has inspired me to write a poem:
Bouncing jellies, making music
Many colours make you feel sick
Hit the space bar to destroy blue
What it’s about I have no clue
I’m trying to hypnotize you
Go and make me a nice hot brew
There, wasn’t that good? What’s that? Yes, I would love a cup of tea, thanks. White, no sugar. And if you have any biscuits going spare, I’ll have one of those too. Two? Oh go on then.
Eh? Oh yes. You want to play the game. I almost forgot.
Here you go.
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Bored?
I bet you are. Which is where Mu-cade comes in. It's a bit like the crappy old Snake game on your cellular telephone, but made by the same people who brought you Noiz2 and Tumiki Fighters.
So it's a bit more colourful. And there's millions of other bits floating around. In a vectory kind of way.
Oh, it's a download and install jobby. Sorry if you can't do that on your machine.
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To keep you amused, we have to quality assess everything that comes via FJ Towers. This next item has more than the necessary amount of ticks on the checklist.
It has newly hatched ducklings, stripey cats, fire engines, men with unfeasibly large quiffs, nice ladies in aprons and tons of other great stuff.
What you have to do however, apart from roll around a bit, is a complete mystery. But "comprehensibility" is not something that's found on the FJ checklist. And rolling around is kind of good anyway. It's good enough in space anyway. It's a real hoot there. Not that that's relevant to this in any way. But "relevance" isn't a word on the FJ checklist either. Thankfully.
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Crouching Tiger, Hidden Uses
Compact discs are used to make cheap Ninja throwing stars in the Far East. Modern day Ninja warriors apparently prefer using Hear'say's debut album because of its superior aerodynamic properties.
Unreliable Facts from The Brains Trust |
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Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks.
They charged one and let the other one off.
- Tommy Cooper |
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DeathGob
