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Finally, our top secret spy cameras have linked up with our satellites orbiting your home planet of earth, and we can spy on you to make sure you're not doing too much work.
Unfortunately, the camera's stuck on one street corner and doesn't cover the whole of the surface of the world. The software must be dodgy or something. Taz will have to get his spanners out and sort it. In the meantime, while we're waiting for "Mr Sapnners", you can zoom into the street corner at great detail...
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Do you have lightning fast reflexes?
Are you good at drawing?
Do you like saving balls from destruction?
If you answered yes to all of the above, then you may be interested in Scriball. If however you answered no to any of the questions, get your coat, this one ain't for you, right?
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Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone,
Prevent the dog from barking with a juicy bone,
Silence the pianos and with muffled drum,
Grow Tower is here, there’s play to be done.
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Fed up of normal, common or garden lasers? How about you to a quick spin in this spaceship equipped with a state-of-the-art God Laser! It might take a few minutes to get used to, but by jove, it sure packs a punch! It's a shame there's no aircon or radio in the spaceship, but you've got to keep the weight down, for manoueverability's sake. Some floor matts in the footwell would have been nice though, just to give an impression of luxury...
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Hey kids! How are you eyes this morning? Still blurry and red from last night? Get over it already, and start using them to read these comic strips.
Relish the invention of Rhett Butler; The Videogame. Be inspired by A violent history of cricket. And absolutely make sure you bone up* on your Drunk Classics.
*That's right, I said bone up
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Today's fun activity is to build a paper model of a Tron Recognizer. You'll need a pair of (safety) scissors, some glue, and of course a responsible adult to supervise and help with the tricky bits!
While you're building your model, you may want to discuss the sequel, which is slated for a 2011 release. How exciting!
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Every morning here at FJ Towers, we fling open the curtains to see the crowds of adoring fans awaiting at the gates with their cameras, hoping to get a glimpse of the wombats.
However, sometimes there are nefarious wrong-doers who mingle in with the crowds and to try and infiltrate our complex to steal our secret formulas and generally keep us on our toes. Today is one of those days! Sort the ninjas from the nuns, and we might let you eat the crumbs from under our table.
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This week’s FJ Friday game sees you taking the role of a cat. Yes, you read that right, a cat. Not a pirate, or a viking, or an astronaut, a cat. A hungry cat, at that. A hungry cat on a road crossing that’s got to snaffle food dropped by pedestrians. While avoiding getting run over. There are no guns, aliens or car chases. Get over it already.
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Have you ever thought to yourself, ”Space Invaders is OK as a concept, but what I’m really after is three simultaneous games, with some extra power-ups thrown in for good measure”? If so, today’s your lucky day! Monolist is Space Invaders, but on three parallel planes*, with extra power-ups** thrown in for good measure!
*Press up and down
**Collect the triangles***
***I’m only telling you this on the off-chance that you can’t read ‘foreign’
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Two Rooms has got to be one of the dullest looking games around. Imagine, if you would, Badger Mushroom in a grey suit, typing in some customer information into a spreadsheet - that's how dull it looks. Luckily, the gameplay is rather good. Yes, it relies quite heavily on the dull and overused gaming principal of pushing crates around, but it does it in rather a good way. If you can get over the dullness of it all, it is really rather good.
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According to our resident viking Dr.Poppyjuice, this next game is an authentic insight into the daily life of the crew of a longship. Whether he's talking bollocks or not (which could well be the case), Ice Breaker is a cracking puzzler, which might turn out to be one of the coolest games of the year!
Cheers 10 Ninjas Steve
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Last time I tried to sling my giant balls at a wall I was incarcerated by the constabulary.
I still don't know why Reg called them, I was only trying to tear his attention away from Strictly Come Dancing.
This is probably a safer way to enjoy yourself.
So enjoy.
Yourself.
Balls.
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Love games, but looking for something to really get your teeth into? Then look no further. This little beauty has all the adventure you can handle.
It starts off so innocently with the instruction you have to burn the rope and then sets you free on the zaniest adventure since The Princess Bride.
Grab hold of your top hat, and get ready for exploration, mind-bending puzzles and a legendary encounter with a Grinning Colossus.
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I think some special gamma rays must have leaked out of the secret lab and into the kitchen here at FJ Towers. At breakfast this morning, the fruit bowl started sprouting banana dolphins and the lemons went all suicidal. Whatever next, the dish running away with the spoon, and the cow jumping over the moon?
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Happy New Year, you crazy loons! OK, so I’m a few days late, but I’m still the first one up here at FJ Towers. The other lazy lot are still washing their faces, brushing their teeth, and madly scrabbling around under the bunks trying to find a matching pair of socks.
While I pop the kettle on, why not have a quick “welcome-the-new-year-in-dog-fight”, it’s guaranteed to blow the cobwebs away!
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Cowboy laws
Descendants of the pioneers who died fighting the native Americans are suing the Apache and Sioux tribes. "Every day when we comb our hair, we are reminded of the trauma suffered by those who underwent scalping" said their spokesperson.
Unreliable Facts from The Brains Trust |
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I went to the butchers the other day and I bet him 50 quid that he couldn't reach the meat off the top shelf. And he said, 'no, the steaks are too high.'
- Tommy Cooper |
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| Men: Spilling my children on my belly |
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DeathGob
